“I guess … we’re just boring people.”
I shrugged my shoulders and laughed self-consciously. Our pre-marital counseling mentors positively beamed at us. Yep, Bryan and Shannon. So easy to explain. So true.
And it is.
It’s mostly true.
I find myself describing Bryan and I as “Boring” quite often. But that’s not exactly what I mean. And maybe it’s not even what I should say.
By many popular measures (number of road trips taken, number of last-minute adventures taken, number of crazy-purchases, number of drinks-downed-per-weekend, number of places volunteered), Bryan and I are the perfect “boring” people. We prefer books to movies, low-key dinners to bar-hopping, planned adventures to spontaneous road-trips, less-is-more, etc. That’s pretty much textbook definition “boring people.”
Society doesn’t blink an eye labeling us as that.
But that’s not what I’d call our relationship. Boring’s dictionary reference reads:
Boring: adj., – not interesting; tedious
And that could not be further from describing me & Bryan; I think we’re super interesting. I also think of us as content. I think of us as introverted; we know ourselves well. We reflect often and deeply and together. Our conversations have greater depth – and length! – than many “exciting, adventurous” people. Still waters run deep, after all.
But society persists in using this pejorative identification: Boring.
Who decided what society will perceive as ‘boring,’? Susan Cain’s book Quiet has me thinking more about how our society ahs prescribed these scripted interactions for our social relationships. Everyone should have an unexpected hobby to share, an underlying secret to revel, stories of mischief and accidents to relay. It’s implied that relationships should never be the same from day to day, month-to-month.
But how tedious that sounds.
Bryan and I are
dynamic – not necessarily in action, but certainly in thought
voluble – in a good way
We’re not even close to to boring. I admit, even after this post, I will probably still persist in using the word to describe us.
But I’m recognizing (and admitting here) that it’s not nearly as appropriate as other adjectives.