Recently, I’ll find myself mid-conversation discussing Bryan’s thoughts on law school, Carolina athletics, libertarian political agendas.
I don’t know if I’m just more in-tune or if it’s a newlywed thing. But it’s not that strange. Because, well, duh, Bryan’s life IS what’s going on in my life.
This past month of marriage has revealed what it means to “be one in marriage” (I must note that: I am so wise about marriage now … *cough* … please take whatever I write with grace. I humbly accept I have no experience).
Bryan has faced far more stress than I have recently; in just these 3 weeks following our honeymoon, he has participated in Law Review, conducted a full-force job search and diligently read for class. Bryan also added “learning how to be a husband” to that list. Phew. While I stay busy with school and practicum, much less of my work brings me stress.
But I’ve still found myself with tense shoulders and a sore neck.
I’m taking Bryan’s pressure and stress on myself. I’m not taking it on because I’m trying to be superwoman wife. Nor do I actively sit and worry about Bryan’s job search. I have a naturally optimistic attitude, I’m not often occupied by worry. But I feel connected to Bryan’s worry. I feel worried about the anxiety he feels.
In many ways, marriages should relieve anxiety – I try to speak encouraging words into his life. But we need a person who is unflappable or trustworthy enough to carry a burden. Marriage needs a Christ. Marriage requires three people. Without Him to carry the burdens of two, marriage compounds anxiety.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am not in and of myself enough to encourage Bryan.
For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
– 1 Corinthians 2:2-5