Oh, am I thankful for you!
I’m spending this week in Hilton Head with my family. We vacationed here last winter, but this year everything feels different (for one, I’m married, so Bryan’s here with me!). Which has had me thinking: a lot has changed. 2013: A year of changes! Many adjustments can be attributed to marriage – but all the changes aren’t as obvious as you might think:
What has CHANGED:
- My empathy for grief. In February, my family lost a matriarch and a model Christian – and I realized the toll of grieving – privately & publicly – and the beauty of a legacy. On Grieving // She Was Who I Want To Be.
- My understanding of love between parents and their children with disabilities. Fragments of Love.
- My view on marriage during graduate school. Marriage + Me Woman. Me Powerful. Do you remember this post? I love this one. Where I rehashed and sorted through my frustration with the secular view of careers and marriage.
- My view of weddings. They’re not so frivolous and stupid … (yeah, I actually once said that).
- Friendships. (2 of my best middle school friends (Emily + Emily) and 4 of my 6 roommates from college are now married!)
- Awareness of my own imperfections. It has become greater, more immediate. See, B burns chicken and Shannon gets mad A Marriage Story. Also see, every argument ever.
- My pressure on myself for perfection. It’s an irony given the change above. But I’ve truly felt that this year I’ve been much more forgiving of myself when I don’t run for an entire week (!!) or I eat two meals without a solid vegetable or I don’t get through “a book a week” like I should. I think that’s thanks to B, who is sweet and kind and quick to forgive.
- Christmas. What a crazy season, indeed!! B and I are blessed with two families who love us and love each other and are a positive joy to celebrate with. But let me just say Christmas – and its traditions – have CHANGED.
Many of these changes are difficult to express and explain so here’s a favorite quote from A Wrinkle in Time:
“It is so difficult to explain things to you, small one. And I know that it is not just because you are a child … [but] good helps us, the stars help us, perhaps what you would call light helps us, love helps us.
“Oh, my child I cannot explain!
“This is something you just have to know or not know.”
– Aunt Beast, A Wrinkle in Time (Madeleine L’Engle)
What I WISH I had been more diligent about changing:
- Prayer. Regular morning prayer has been a struggle for me this year. I think a lot of that is me still adjusting to sharing everything with another person – especially one who’s morning wake-up schedule can be variable.
- Smart, diligent money habits. Bryan and I have lived below and within our means, but we have been less than scrupulous about keeping a budgeted system. This is probably due to me not getting my official name changed until last month (!).
Tomorrow: New Year’s Resolutions will be posted – amidst the groans of my family (you can probably hear them from where you live). It’s easier to hold yourself accountable when you share all your resources with a spouse – more on that later!