Myths I’m Tired of Hearing.

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Sarah Der Photography (sarahderphotography.com)

1. Just Be You. In some ways I agree with this statement – but I’ve caught myself using this to blur the lines between right and wrong. Just because I have a tendency to do something – or because I feel jealous or what-have-you does not mean that I should act on that. Sure, those things are “me,” but it’s important (though jarring) to recognize what is right and strive for that …

I want to walk away from our society’s tendency to justify actions as “someone’s personality” instead of calling them out in truth: “That was selfish. That was cruel. You shouldn’t act that way.”

2. Facebook is evil – and controls your life. No. Somewhere along the road you let this social networking site control you and your time and your self-esteem. If it helps you to completely take yourself out of that realm by all means, you should! Just be careful you don’t lord that over those of us who still use it for planning events, communicating among groups, and keeping up with good friends.

3. Having sex 4 times a day is normal; Sex 7 times a week is normal; Sex is always fulfilling. Quite honestly, my frustration with the way media portrays sex has hit a ceiling. It’s just … false. I remember distinctly one episode of How I Met Your Mother where Barney and Robin were locked in a room together for an entire day with the implication being they had sex constantly for 6 hours. I remember turning to Bryan and saying “That is just not possible. And, who would want that?”

Yes, sex is enjoyable. Yes, it will bring the two of you closer. But sex is not the answer to a fulfilling relationship. It is never as perfect as we watch it being portrayed – with perfectly placed romantic soundtracks and beautifully-made beds.

I hope you never never never feel less because you don’t “live up to” the stereotypes on television. It’s frustrating more people don’t talk about this. I’ve read plenty of studies about the media’s portrayal of sex and its influence on teens and female body image. No one talks about how it influences married couples. I’ve had too many conversations with married friends who are perfectly happy and loving but had to recenter their ideas on sex because so many were based on what we WATCHED. Don’t let your expectations about your own sex life be defined by the media. They’re fantasizing about what they think would be ideal … and they’re wrong.

4. Men don’t have insecurities about body image so it’s okay to tell them to work out more/lose weight. Really?

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5 thoughts on “Myths I’m Tired of Hearing.

  1. Yea! Yea! Girl! I don’t know what companies would do if they couldn’t adv.
    the drugs for enhancing sex, etc. There ARE other things that draw us
    together…no pun intended. Student Recital is this week-end. Remember us.
    Love you’ll dearly!

    1. P.S. We just celebrated our 59th anniversary. If I had time and space, I would love to list all the things, large and small that have drawn us together
      throughout these years. Most of them are things you’ll will list at your 59th
      year. much love to you both.

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