Thoughts on a Rainy 10.11.14.

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Photos from exploring Virginia’s wine country two weekends ago.

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On Using the Words “Hot” “Model” and “Sexy.” I don’t know what got me started on this. But earlier this week I wrote those adjectives (yes, if you browse Instagram, model is now an adjective) on a post-it note on our dining room table and I’ve been thinking about them ever since.

These are the words we throw around as compliments to friends on Facebook and Instagram albums but then turn around and scold the males in our lives for using – because, of course, they’re objectifying to women. I’ve been pondering how women – even, particularly, Christian women – still want to be described as all those things (Hot/Model/Sexy); A simple “so pretty” compliment isn’t what we’re striving for. Ironic expectations, right?

I avoid using these words to describe my friends. To me, it puts an objectifying tone on who they are, what they’re wearing, how they look, and how I perceive them. It’s puzzling to me that we have this world in which we celebrate Dove commercials, church speakers, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Garner ,and Oprah speaking out against our “youth” and “model/perfection” obsessed culture but yet we still use the same words we criticize to describe our best friends.

The Lasting Influence of Words: They say you become who you the most spend time with or listen to most often. And it is so true. The words of those you surround yourself with reverberate in your head. Just last week I found myself parroting my mother’s positive compliments about Bryan’s decision process back to him. “Bryan, you’re great at interviews. You’re so smart. You’re going to make the right decision.” I needed that model because I was in a mood to say “Stop worrying yourself silly! It’s not a big deal.”

But I didn’t. That would’ve been the wrong thing to say.

I’ve also found this to be true at work. The way in which my co-workers describe fellow co-workers/parents/students is how I begin to perceive them. Oh, they’re annoying and rude? Yes, I can TOTALLY see that now. Oh, they’re just so nice and joyful? I KNOW they are. I love them! 

I’m striving to be more aware of how and what I’m saying. Words influence our thought-life.

Creeping on Homes in Arlington: I want to give a particular shout-out to families who leave their blinds open and lights on at night while they’re sitting around the family dinner table or coming home from work.

You;ve provided a great deal of joy and happiness on my recent runs. I love watching your husband loosen his tie and kiss his wife, and the 2-year-old daughter sitting against the kitchen table while her parents look adoringly on, and the dog greedily eating up his bowl of food while the mother and children prepare food in the kitchen. These little glimpses of family life make me a dreamer – and make me excited about what the next 3, 4, 5 years in Virginia may hold.

After all, dreams are what keep me going on some days. The dream of a dog, a home, a husband in the same city as me, a romantic getaway, a settled life, hosting friends for weekly dinners. These dreams stave off the dreariness of hard or lonely days. You were right, Mr. Langston Hughes!:

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly

Oh, Dogs. There’s a rhythmic echo that haunts my thoughts. Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog. Want a dog. Want a dog. Want a dog. It’s present nearly constantly and it’s real. But alas. I have no dog. To quiet that refrain I’ve been reminding myself of all the benefits to not owning a dog:

  • Not paying for a dog-walker.
  • Not storing a dog crate in our one-bedroom apartment.
  • Ability to leave for day/weekend trips on a last-minute whim.
  • Ability to invite friends who are allergic to dogs over.
  • No dog hairs floating around the kitchen or living room.
  • No need to go outside on a rainy day like today.
  • No barking.
  • No accidents on the carpet/in the house.

And, finally, in exciting but stressful news: Bryan has 3 job offers at law firms – all of them in DC – and we have no idea what he’s going to choose.  He is thinking, asking, calling, researching. And it also means we are in near-constant discussion-mode. We know God has a plan but making that first big decision is nerve-wracking and tastes of possible failure (even though we know there’s not a wrong choice).

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One thought on “Thoughts on a Rainy 10.11.14.

  1. What a lovely post. I feel like we just had a coffee date. You are so honest and vulnerable. I know that this stage in life seems overwhelming but just be still and know. Love you, friend.

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